i might say something stupid—i think i just did

credit to pinterest.

The encounter of me and this song is purely unplanned. For it's supposed to be just one normal Sunday morning where I'd down for relax and simply listen to my favorite playlist—turns out that it's not. I chose to play the 1975's on shuffle instead and am now can't even stop listening to this song ever since.

The song's started off too strong by the raw and whispering voice of Matty and I wonder how come I wasn't aware of this song's existence just yet being that I used to listen to the 1975's songs religiously enough. However it was apparently their lastest collab with Charlie XCX and Jon Hop. 

Despite my love for this song, it was kind of shocked me that Charlie's actually produced this genre of music too (for what I know her song's quite the hype and electropop type).

This version of i might say something stupid was—though appears very different from the original song by Charlie herself—for the matter of fact, succeeded in convincing the listener (me) that this song really is Charlie's in a way. To be frank, I'm not an avid listener of her but I do know that Charlie often uses synth in many of her songs and in quite various type of it too. So does she in this song—even though only subtle you'd hear the synth still. But I too can't lie that this song was made suited Matty's voice fairly perfect.

If I would talk about this song then I would too talk about self-doubt, depression, vulnerability, and the struggle to fit in the always-pushing society. Matty's voice was almost unheard in the intro, depicting the tiredness also the hopeless situation of the narrator.

"I could say something smart/But might say something stupid/(talk to myself in the mirror)." is written in a sense to tell the narrator's self-doubt. It seems to me that the narrator has always been struggling with it hearing how Matty sung it so exhaustingly, so raw and sensitive. And I can't help but to feel the aches all over me every time the lyrics are blurted out loud.

In a way, Charlie had made it clear that the narrator in the song's quite a famous figure who's trying their best to always fit in other people's expectations of them. But I'd like to see it on the other way around, if not so deep. Rather than just telling specifically about the story of someone with fame, this song implied the general problems of being individual in nowadays society where everyone will always be expected of something out of them.

We can see how the narrator's so helpless dealing with their suicidal self. We can see how they're so sore and have it all enough in the second verse where Matty goes: "Rot in your house in a tie/Putting my skin into anything." also in the third verse by: "Rot in my house in L.A./Thinkin' of givin' up everything."

The sad yet unavoidable fact is that we all know how the society would react to some kind of vulnerability. We shouldn't be fragile if we wanted to fit in and claimed as normal. So we'd continuously refuse the idea of something terrible's happening to us. We'd refuse to believe that it's not something everyone can just pass on, that it's only a phase we'd too shall overcome.

The repetition of "It happens to lots of guys." followed by "Medicine makes me (him) a problem." is contributing the idea of how depressed the narrator is and how they have given any kind of help up by the minutes the song's receded.