i remember screaming, how are you doing?

 All these years I'm living, I've known love as something brief. Love's supposed to make you feel nervous and giddy. It's supposed to make you feel like you're about to throw up ‘cause every time you're in love, your world should feels like it's walking shift. You'd love it that you're in love falling slowly. Despite that I was told love's supposed to be something so brief.

But, were shoulds and supposeds all love filled by? Poor us humans starved for it either way.

I remember the first time we spoke. We are both always quiet so I’m not sure if we had really talk. We were shy but tender. I offered you black tea and you shook your head gentle. I remember the first time we’re falling in a so called love. We wake up like we’re people in the 90s. We stayed up late to wander around with all the glimmering stars above—’cause we’re in love. We smiled as hardly catching breath between our kisses.

I’ve known love for something shorter than temporary. But, by yours I’ve taught that nothing has ever placed beyond eternity. By yours I saw the world where I was easy for you and everyone else to understand, where nobody would mistook me and put me on the blame. So I remember the first rope you tied yourself in, I remember when it’s pulling you away then.

I remember I asked you in my dreams, what happened?

You were there too shading in silence. Forcing me to remember and remember by your pettiest presence. Before you I was a hopeless romantic for living so long in a crowded tragic. Right when you were there I knew how it feels so fantastic. Thereupon you left me being unbearably nostalgic. I remembered and remembered. I felt you in my every corner. It sucked but I didn't think you were.

You’re still the one I ponder. I heard you on the phone while taking myself on the train. I saw you waving your hand while walking down the stairs. I felt you around while the only light in the room was from the refrigerator. I cried you in the shower.

I missed you everywhere but I didn't think you were.

Screaming, I yearned for our old belongings. Screaming, I traced down any places we once visited in. Screaming, how dare you make me so pathetic they start pitying. Screaming, of all your lovely doings, what's the meaning?

Screaming.

I didn't even think you've ever missed me too bad you start screaming.